Right-Wrong

I always used to talk about right/wrong but is there anything in life that can be defined as black and white? The Law obviously defines crimes and its punishments. But what about out personal relationships, or the little manipulations we do in our everyday lives, with our own people, in our jobs. There is obviously no universal book which defines each thing and then mentions whether it is correct or no.

We can’t judge a person or his acts based on our rights and wrongs.  Many of our acts may be considered an absolute no-no by a third person but at the same time, for us it could just be absolutely normal. And then there are sometimes, we do things which we ourselves think are wrong but we can’t control our minds. We ponder over it for a while, keep regretting it or just forget about it and forgive ourselves later.

Human mind is complicated; sometimes we can’t understand our own.

Guess the only thing that is important is facing one’s own self without having any guilt.

Understanding Life!

Sometimes it’s important to stop ourselves from doing or committing some actions that according to us may be the best thing to do today but when today ends and tomorrow dawns, you realize those actions have put you in deep shit.

Sometimes it’s important to stop doing something for others, even for your loved ones, sometimes you need to step down and say a NO to people who matter the most but that NO is quite important for yourself.

Sometimes you need to give work more priority, sometimes your family and sometimes just Yourself.

Sometimes you really need to shut up and walk away and not interfere in people’s lives or relationships; it may do really good for them and also to your relationship with them.

There are no specific rights and wrongs, black and white in Life. Life is all about the grey area or the middle which we overlook many a times! Life cannot be defined; it cannot be lived with rules;

It is about the Sunrise which gives light to one part of the world and the same sunrise puts the other side of the world into dark!

To all my loved ones who know me, I know I am a kind who has always believed in either RIGHT or WRONG. But I am trying to be more accepting of things, more flexible in my thoughts and less judgmental and believe me its helping. It surely does!!!!

Moment of Truth

The moment of truth, you realize you were living in assumptions which were so not true


The moment of truth, when you look back and realize you were so stupid all this while

The moment of truth, when you realize your love was so suffocating for the person you loved

The moment of truth, when you finally realize its time you move on from what you were holding on to for so long

The moment of truth, when you realize the close ones are not so close

The moment of truth, when you know what you really want in life

The moment of truth, when you open your eyes and find no one around and you always thought there would be a crowd standing with you when you need them



There are just so many more in each of our lives. Just not able to decide whether these realizations would do any good to us or bad.

Savitha Halappanavar - Irish law on Abortion

It was very shocking to watch the news of Savita Halappanavar's death in Ireland. Savita was not allowed to terminate her 17 week long pregnancy even when she was in a critical condition because the Ireland law does not allow that.


Her husband, Praveen Halappanavar, said her repeated requests were turned down because she was 17 weeks pregnant and staff could detect a foetal heartbeat. The 34-year-old engineer has since revealed that his wife spent two and a half days "in agony" until the foetal heartbeat stopped.

After the dead foetus was removed, he said, his wife was taken to the hospital's intensive care unit where she died on 28 October.

Doctors refused to perform an abortion stating “this is a Catholic country”.

Abortion is currently unlawful in Ireland and therefore unavailable (this includes Northern Ireland). This means that women living in Ireland must travel to a country where abortion is legal. Women have the option of travelling to the UK or other EU countries to access abortion services.

How can someone so easily blame any religion for the same? I am confident that if I discuss this case with 10 Catholics around me, they would support Savitha’s decision. And not only here in India, the people in Ireland are themselves fighting against this for so long but to no avail. What is the use of making a law which is not in favor of people who are supposed to follow it?

There was one more shocking case in Ireland in 1992 where in a 14 year old girl was raped. She was allowed abortion because she mentioned she will commit suicide and NOT because she was raped.

The Supreme Court ruled that abortion was permitted when the woman's life was at risk, including from suicide.

In that case, why was Savitha not allowed termination? Is it medical negligence or were the doctors scared of the laws strongly supported by religion.

Abortions should be avoided but every situation is different and one cannot have a LAW for or against abortion.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_the_Republic_of_Ireland



Savitha Halappanavar - 31yrs 

Birthday - Another Year Begins

3rd September, every year on this day, I get mixed feelings. I am always very excited when September starts because I keep waiting for my birthday when I am treated as the most special person. And then my birthday actually arrives, I suddenly get the feeling, that I have become one year older :-p

My 24th birthday was spent in my office working, answering calls for bday wishes, receiving gifts and then struggling to reach home in heavy rains. :)

This year was spent gaining a lot of new experiences, meeting new people, learning new things and trying to grow as a better human.

Yesterday, on my birthday, a lot of people wished me. Some who have been wishing me from my 1st birthday (My parents because of whom I exist today), some who wished me for the first time this year (My new Friends who are a blessing to me), some who have been consistent in my life for almost ages now (My sister, cousins and a few of my very “Old is gold” type superb friends who make my life just more and more beautiful each day).

Life keeps teaching us new things every day and every year, there is only one promise, I make to myself that Vidhi – “You need to still be a better human, nicer to the world and the people around and continuously improve in what you do.” I may not be living up to the expectations of all the people around and not everyone may be happy with me but according to me, the most important is to live up to the expectations of your own self and I guess, I always make sure, I do that.

Finally, Thanks to all those people who wished me and made me feel special and nice! Love you all…!!

"Rejections"

At a general friendly conversation, my friend said “Rejections are a part of life.” The statement really meant a lot.

How do we handle rejections? No human would want to be rejected by anyone in the world. But it happens and it happens very often.

People may not like the way you think, speak, look, behave or even dress. But does that mean, we are wrong or does it mean the other person is. It’s an argumentative topic. Each one can have their own opinion and they also have the right to talk about it openly.

Most of us, if given a serious thought, are not able to handle rejections even after being a grown up adult. And that’s something all of us need to learn.

It is okay if there a few people who don’t like you or who would not want to be with you. The world does not end there. You got to just be yourself, do what you want and say what you think fearlessly.

Talking fearlessly, at the same time, does not mean hurting someone. You got to be assertive and need to explain things in fewer words.

It is okay to be rejected. Try to take it in a positive way and if you can’t do that, just ignore it… :)

Poetic Thought

Sometimes nothing seems to be fine

Not even a glass of wine
Family and friends seem to be so unhelpful
Because you think no one around is merciful
When you are alone, you want people around
And when you are in a crowd, you think you should go inside the ground
Don’t think you are alone… You have a pure soul and you have your life
Learn to live… Learn to dream… Learn to Smile

Important... Really??

Yesterday I was just thinking of the word IMPORTANT
Dictionary meaning of important - of great significance or value;

We have important things to do and important people in life. I was just thinking of someone who I would not be able to live without. I thought for a while but then came to a conclusion that there is no one in this entire world who I cannot live without.

Had a discussion with my little sis on the same (Let me tell you, she is too smart for her age), she opined “Didi, important people don't not mean we will not be able to live without someone, it is someone without whom, there will be emptiness in our lives" And she also mentioned, important people keep changing in our life which is so true.

There are just a few who will be forever with you and those are the ones who are worth giving the due importance.

People who we think are really necessary for your life may not have the same opinion for you. We need to recognize the right ones and keep them with us forever.

The only point I was trying to make through this write up is that No one is Forever, Life is a journey and we have to find the right companions for this journey and make life worthwhile.

Opportunity cost - LIFE

DEFINITION: Opportunity cost is a key concept in economics. It is the opportunity lost in the next best alternative. It is the cost related to the second best choice available to someone who has picked among several mutually exclusive choices.

Usually opportunity cost is calculated in terms of money.

But have we ever thought opportunity cost in our lives?

Each day we have n number of options and we chose one which we think is the best but we usually don’t give a thought to things we have lost.

Sometimes we lose so many things for a single reason and that single reason turns out to be the wrong option. What are we supposed to do when we are enlightened with something like that?

You can’t get back things you have lost because it’s not money that you can earn back, it’s your precious time or even sometimes precious people that you have lost.

It’s true that realizing mistakes do help in having a better future. But how many such mistakes are allowed in one life?

A thought to share!

A beautiful thought just struck my mind yesterday when I was walking back home with my sister last night.

Just brush up your memory and think how many times in our lives we have walked on the right i.e. the outer side of the road and asked the person walking with us to be on the inner side near the footpath. Have we ever thought why we do this? Many a times for men they do it out of respect.

It is basically to keep the other person safe is what all of y’all are thinking. But it is something more than this.

It means we actually don’t mind risking our life but we want the other person to be safe. The other person’s life is more precious to us than ours. It shows to what extent we care for that person.

That person is too important to us!

International Women’s Day

I have mixed opinions about women’s day celebration. I being a woman have always been a feminist and have tried to protect the identity of this gender.

But now, when given a serious thought I strongly feel that why to create such a chaos about women’s day. “I am proud to be a woman. I am special because I am a woman” don’t make much sense. Each human is proud to be what he/she is.

The problem with we women is we have started believing that the opposite sex is stronger than us and hence we find different ways to prove ourselves. On one hand we say we are equal to men and on the other hand we ourselves prove that we are the weaker sex by celebrating such days.

There is just no need to compare Men and Women because there are no common parameters for this comparison. Comparison is nothing but finding out who is better which is not required in this case.

Women’s day celebration don’t hold any importance in my mind because the women who actually need support and help don’t know what women’s day is and neither the people who harass them know about it. Women who can understand and who celebrate this day don’t actually need it because they have that basic knowledge about life and can stand up against wrong.

I feel it is not about standing against any gender. It’s about standing against the wrong. Any human can be wrong – be it a man or a woman.

Fact: It is an irony that a holiday is declared on Women’s day in Afghanistan but it is the same country that also has the maximum number of harassed women.

Overcoming - The Fear

When I was about 10-11 yrs old, I had been for a picnic with my aunt and her family. We were about 15 of us. My parents hadn’t accompanied us. I don’t exactly remember d place we had visited.

I had worn mojris (closed shoes for women). I had removed the shoes and we were playing in the garden. The elders then got up and said we have 2 leave now. I used to take a lot of time to wear those mojris. Most of the people started walking ahead leaving me behind. My aunt who was my guardian for the day got upset and started moving too. I remember what she said “Let’s go! She will come herself”. Maybe she wanted me to be fast and she got a bit impatient and hence upset.

Now there I was alone. I was so scared that everyone was moving away from me. I was always extra taken care by my parents and at that point of time the thought that I was alone there and everyone had left me crept into my head. Maybe they were just trying to scare me and wanted me to be fast. But I just couldn’t. Was standing there like a fool with tears in my eyes. I just wanted my mummy at that point of time. Later in a few moments, my cousin brother came up and took me from there.

But believe me, I never wore those mojris after that. Today I am 22 and I have just bought 1 pair of closed formal shoes for myself and that too because I was compelled to do that for my interview. I wore it once and then just left it in the shelf last year!

Whenever anyone asked me to try using those shoes, I gave them all sorts of reasons like “I am uncomfortable or I don’t like them”. They thought I was stupid and never forced me. But I don’t know why I just didn’t feel like. Because one thing I have dreaded in my life is to be alone and I was left alone that time because of those mojris. It was scary.

Lately I have started wearing the formal shoes to office because a few friends asked me to. But I had to actually fight the fear in me. It may sound ridiculous but it’s true.

The only thing I want to state through this post is “Don’t do or say something harsh to people specially kids because it may be stupid for you and you may forget it the next moment but it could have a great impact on the other persons mind like how it did to mine.”

New Year!!

We are all ready to welcome a bright new year.
When I look back, I don’t remember each thing that has happened in my life in the year 2010.
But yes, I met some new people in my life; have built some new experiences, made some new friends. Basically have built new relations with a lot of people.
Not everything is same, the way it was in the beginning of the year. Not the same people are as important as they were before. Old friends have become ex friends. Some Old relatives have become like strangers. I am replaced by others in some close ones lives. Life has changed. I don’t agree that all the changes were for good but yes things have changed.
Life just goes on. The miraculous part is that somehow everyone gets the strength to accept these changes and still be happy.
Just learnt one thing that we should always accept life with a beautiful smile and open arms!

Smile NOW because this moment won’t ever come back.
Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year. Have a great life!!

Inspiration from a Little Girl..

Yesterday, I boarded a train to CST from Ghatkopar at around 8.45 in d morning for my college. Being the peak office time, the train was pretty crowded. With all the hustle and bustle got into the train and found a place to stand.

The next station, i.e. at Kurla, a little girl with 3 of her fellow relatives were waiting to board the train. They had 2 huge bags with them. It was difficult for them to get into the train but somehow they managed to get in!

This little girl was very amused by the crowd and the way they had managed to enter the train somehow with their luggage. Instead of getting irritated or scared, she burst out with laughter and was continuously laughing. She thoroughly enjoyed sneaking inside the crowd. And because she was so happy, her family members also had smiles on their faces!

She brought smiles on the faces of almost everyone around. I aksed her name and she very cutely answered MEHEK…

Mehek inspired me so much yesterday. She taught me how to face life. When you are going through a problem in your life fight against it, manage to leave it behind and move forward but do all this with a Beautiful Smile on your face… Life is how you see it!! :)

Human Needs Vs Happiness

Man is an animal with ever growing needs and wants. We are all selfish creatures and we know that too well. We do things just to fulfill our needs. We behave in a certain way because there is an underlying need that we have.. :)

Just want to share my thought on this.

When we are hungry, we eat food…. Our need of hunger is satisfied but if we have our food with our loved one, our friend, our family, we feel good and happy.

Shelter is required, so we have a home to live in. Who we live with, is important? If we are asked to live alone all our life in the most beautifully made house, our need of shelter will be satisfied but we won’t be happy.

We all have emotional needs like we want to be loved; to love; to earn; to build our status in the society etc. Here again we earn a lot of money, more than we had thought of but who are we spending that money with would define our happiness.

Same is with human physical needs.

Needs could be fulfilled. But just fulfilling your need won’t result in happiness.

If I have food to eat, home to live, partner to sleep with, money to spend but no loved one around me, I would survive but not Live!

Helplessness

I checked the net and found a few definitions on helplessness. The one which I felt was the most relevant is “Helplessness is the feeling someone gets when he finds himself unable to change something that is important to him.”

Now when you want to change something and you can’t, you tend to feel depressed. We all say every problem has a solution. This statement sounds very nice but it’s not always true.

If we all look into our lives, we haven’t been able to solve all our problems. We have ignored some of them or we have simply accepted some and made them as a part of our life. As it is rightly said, “If you can’t avoid it, learn to live with it”

Some problems cannot be solved and similarly some things can’t be changed. When this kind of situation occurs in our life, we feel depressed, we start feeling helpless.

We want to go to any extent to solve the problem, want to do anything to make the current situation better. We even start dreaming of how beautiful our life would be after things have changed. But in reality nothing has changed. The problem still exists and you are still thinking of ways to solve it. It’s all the same.

The feeling of helplessness creeps into each cell of your body. Lately I have realized its one of the worst feelings anyone can experience.

Patience and time may make things better but again it’s not always healthy to be over positive about things.

Sharing Your Problems… Always helpful??

Today I had taken a day off and a thought crossed my mind. As it is rightly said when you are free, you tend to think too much :)

All of us have problems and all of us have someone or the other with whom we share our problems. If you actually think over, you will realize there are very few things in your life which only YOU know. We always tend to discuss things with someone or the other…could be our friends, loved ones or family. It is absolutely normal to do so. But is it always helpful?
Now that depends on the person with whom we are sharing. The trust factor we have on that person.

But what I feel is sharing doesn’t always help….
Most of the times, the other person will not have the solution to all your problems. He can’t do anything except for listening to you. You say it all, you get sympathy, and you feel good for some time but are your problems solved?
It is very much possible you have invited a few more problems. Now you start thinking will he share what I told him with someone else? And by chance if you have some differences with the person in the future, he could misuse the information he has with him about you. New tension you see.
And the other thing is if you discuss nothing else but your problems with others, there will be a time when they will be fed up. You could lose out on your friends that way.

I know, I am being too negative about the people around us but all of us have faced these kinds of things in our lives some time or the other. When we have fights, we tend to speak things which we are not supposed to but we do. It is human nature.
It is also normal to discuss things with people around us because we all need each other at the end.

But I strongly feel sharing your happiness is always better than sharing your problems or sorrow. Happiness increases when you share but sharing problems could very much increase our problems :)

Be Yourself

“We need to change according to our environment. I didn’t change, circumstances forced me to.” All these are very common statements. But I don’t believe in any of them.

According to me no person can ever change. His nature, his thoughts, his way of thinking will always be the same.

I have seen people who portray themselves in different ways at different places. It could be in means of their opinions, their personality or their thoughts.

They are basically hypocrites according to me. They don’t have the ability to show what they are. They always tend to follow others and be like them.

We need to ask ourselves also whether Wherever we are, do we show our true self or even we show that side of our personality what others want to see or what others would appreciate?

If one is doing so, he needs to understand that he is running away from his own self. By doing so, you will surely get temporary satisfaction but you will never be happy. One needs to be confident of what they are and the way they are.

Changing ourselves to be a part of the larger crowd is a sign of being a real COWARD.

Visit to a Slum School

I along with y friends visited Eklavya Balwadi. It’s a slum school in Andheri. It is specially made for the people of that slum by a trust. We went there for our CSR project.

The experience I had there was a very unique one.

The class was being taken in a small room. I can’t call it a classroom because it was not one.

Something that caught my attention immediately was some female students who seemed to be pretty big for a 4^th or 5^th standard. While talking to them I realized that 1 of those women was married and had a child who studied in his 1^st standard in a reputed convent school. She was here doing schooling as well. When asked why she was studying, she told us that she wanted to help her son and mainly she wanted to communicate with him in English. Now that was impressive. The best part was she got tremendous support from her husband. I was really shocked to hear that.

I always felt that it’s the uneducated family who never support their children, daughter-in-laws or wives for further education. But when I spoke to the staff members out there, they said that the families were very eager to send their children to the school for education. The only problem they face is financial. They don’t have the money and so they either send their children to work in an early age or marry off their daughters.

There were students who worked in the morning as house maids, came directly to school and again went for work in the night. Even with all these problems, they had a broad smile on their face. That inspired me even more.

We are busy with our own problems, but when we actually look around us, we will find people facing so much in life without complaining!